


Love Languages

by MiriamMT



Series: Gallavich OneShots (no smut) [58]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Bipolar Ian Gallagher, Fights, Hurt Mickey Milkovich, Love Language, Love Languages, M/M, Mickey Milkovich Loves Ian Gallagher, Punishment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:34:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25495417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriamMT/pseuds/MiriamMT
Summary: Mickey wont say "I love you" to Ian, no matter how often Ian says it. So the Gallagher gets frustrated and considers moving on from Mickey- which makes Mickey furious and he decides to give Ian as much love as he receives.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Series: Gallavich OneShots (no smut) [58]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1525730
Comments: 2
Kudos: 127





	Love Languages

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually inspired by my take on Brian's and Justin's Relationship in "Queer as folk"
> 
> (if you didnt watch it yet, do so! It's the first and as far as I know only show with only gay leads, which is made up of gay guys and a lesbian couple, it shows many sides of the LGBT community and paints a pretty realistic picture of important issues, within the community but also political- and the rest is gay soft porn)
> 
> However, I'm convinced that with most of the couples on TV (especially with Brain and Justin) there is always the person who always says "I love you" and one who always shows "I love you" - in my opinion, the showing speaks louder, it has more meaning. If you know qaf you maybe know what I'm talking about. One always says it, but I believe the other one more that he actually does it, even tho he's the one who almost never says it, - because he proves it all the time. While the other one just says it and we're all taking it as truth (he does love him tho, but still)  
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You can say "I love you" in many different ways.

Ian always knew the obvious ones, he told Mickey he loved him by telling him. By calling him perfect and beautiful and thanking him for just existing.

He was always a bit disappointed when he wouldn't get the "I love you too" in return.

Mickey didn't say I love you, sometimes he smiled and said "I know" most of the time his answer was a sweet kiss and looking for body contact from Ian.

Ian didn't mind it the past years, because he still felt loved enough by Mickey despite never hearing it. Mickey was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for - which was crazy, because you would ever expect it.

No one who saw the small, tattooed thug, who had "fuck u-up" tattooed on his knuckles, thought "I'm sure he's a great boyfriend to someone"

And who knew Mickey on the surface, the aggressive man with the deep rooted internalized homophobia and violence-is-the-answer attitude, would definitely never think, he could be someone you can cuddle with on the couch during a lazy afternoon.

But Ian knew Mickey beyond all those issues and stereotypes. Mickey could be very sweet to him, when they were alone. He was the most caring person Ian had ever met.

Their usual day together started with Mickey getting up first because he had to go to work in the morning and Ian had the afternoon shift most of the time.

Mickey tried to be as quiet as possible to not wake up Ian, which wasn't even mandatory because Ian could sleep through a lot.

When Mickey was ready to go, he put coffee into a mug, brought it back to the bedroom and placed it on the nightstand. Then he leaned down and kissed Ian's cheek and left the house.

Ian woke up a bit later, never late enough for the coffee to be cold. He looked over to see the mug and smiled.

He sat up, sipped on the lukewarm liquid, and slowly started his day too.  
In the kitchen he always found the lunch Mickey prepared for him for work.

Ian went grocery shopping before going to Work. Mickey came back in the afternoon. He cleaned up a bit and relaxed in front of the TV - occasionally sending Ian a dirty text.

In the evening he ate dinner and saved up a plate for Ian, which he put into the fridge.

Then he lay down on the couch and watched TV while waiting for Ian to come home.

Ian came home very late, he smiled automatically when he saw Mickey on the couch.

Sometimes Mickey was dozing off while waiting for Ian, Ian then woke him up with a kiss and chuckled and called him sleeping beauty or snow white, to which Mickey only rolled his eyes and growled.

"Did you wait up for me?", Ian asked smiling.  
Mickey nodded, "they really gotta give you the morning shift again."  
Ian kissed him again, making the frown disappear from his face.  
"I saved you some dinner, don't need too long, okay?"

Ian nodded and helped Mickey off the couch. While Mickey went to bed, Ian ate his dinner Mickey prepared.

Ian wasn't sure why Mickey stayed up and waited for him to come home every night just to go to bed then anyways. But he liked that Mickey was the first thing he saw upon coming home.

Ian crawled into bed a while later, when Mickey was still somewhat awake, he turned around to him and cuddled up to him, having an arm draped over Ian's body and their legs tangled with each other. If Mickey was already knocked out, Ian cuddled up to him, spooning him and holding him in his arms the whole night.

Ian loved Mickey and he loved their life in the Milkovich house - even though it was occasionally disturbed by Mandy, Sandy or some other Milkovich relative, or by Ian's siblings, who only knew Mickey on the surface and were afraid Mickey would be abusive towards him.

But lately, Ian really wondered if Mickey loved him at all, because he never said so. He just wanted to hear it once from him.

When they both had the same day off, they had a date night.

Mickey had been against going on dates for a long time. But eventually, a year ago, he had said "I'll take you on a date, but on my own terms. Just the two of us without a lot of people around, not because I don't enjoy showing you off, but because I want it to be you and I only."

So, Mickey always was the one who took Ian on a date, a while ago they even went to eat out for the first time, in public, as a couple. Mickey had been tense most of the time, but that Ian was there made it easier.

Today, Mickey had been pretty secretive about their date night.  
He was in the kitchen and worked on some food. Ian came up behind him, wrapped his arms around him and kissed his cheek.

"When will you tell me what we're doing tonight?"  
"Do you understand the concept of a surprise, Gallagher?"

Ian kissed his neck and mumbled something against his skin, which sounded like disapproval of Mickeys secretive behaviour. Mickey just chuckled and turned around to kiss him.

"And you're saying Milkoviches are the impatient ones", he grinned.  
"May I remind you on the day you threw the remote at the TV because it wasn't quick enough?"  
"I'm pretty sure that was Mandy."  
"It happened on multiple occasions. It's a miracle that the thing is still standing.", Ian chuckled and kissed him again, before he let Mickey turn back to the food he was preparing.

Later in the evening Mickey put a few things into his backpack, took Ian and left the house with him.

"Where are we going?" Ian asked a few times.  
"You'll see"

Eventually they reached their destination and Ian started smiling. It was the baseball field, they had come here when they were teenagers a few times.

"We're having a date here?"  
Mickey nodded, "You remember what I said the first time we've been here?"  
"Uh... you always wanted to fuck here and there's not much else to do in the joint than to work out."

"And?"  
"Shit, is this a memory test? Uh, I think we talked about finding a job and all that... community college...", Ian started grinning suddenly, "Jesus Christ do you wanna spread a blanket out and look for shooting stars next?"

Mickey chuckled, "I knew you would remember that"  
"Really? You're gonna look at the stars with me?"  
Mickey shrugged and walked across the field, "Imagine it as picnic with a nice view. Well, depending on if we're gonna see any stars here. If not, it's just really good food and fucking in public."

Ian laughed and pulled Mickey back to him to kiss him.  
"You're the best boyfriend in the world"  
"I know." Mickey just smirked and winked.

Ian kissed him again and then let Mickey prepare the blanket and the picnic food, which he took with him in his backpack.

Ian sat down on the blanket and looked up at the sky. You couldn't see much, but it was still a very beautiful place for a date.

Mickey switched on the flashlight on his phone and put it on the blanket to give them a light source.

"I thought candles would be a bit over the top.", Mickey shrugged while placing the food between them.

"It's perfect out here", Ian said. They ate and talked for a while. It was Mickeys favourite kind of date - just him and Ian, alone, in peace.

They eventually lay down on their backs to look up at the sky.  
Mickey rested his head on Ian's chest and closed his eyes for a moment while listening to Ian's steady heartbeat. Ian ran his hands through Mickeys hair slowly.

They lay there for a while in silence, just enjoying each other's presence.

"Mickey..."  
"Hm?"  
"Do you think we'll be together in the long run?"

Mickey was confused by that question, he looked up at him, "Sure, why not?"  
"Really? That's your answer _? Sure, why not_?"  
"What do you want to hear?", Mickey chuckled, "A love poem about how we will still be together in a hundred years when we're fat and old?"

"You could at least sound less indifferent when I basically ask you to be with me until we die."  
"I'm not indifferent towards it, I just don't know where it suddenly comes from. I don't doubt that we will, unless you do something incredibly stupid. I'll promise I'll show more emotion when you ask me to marry me or some shit to make it official. Hey, who knows, maybe I'm even gonna recite a love poem"

Mickey chuckled, while Ian just rolled his eyes and looked away from him annoyed.  
"You're annoying"

Mickey grinned and crawled up to him so he could look down at his face.  
"Don't be the Grouchy Gallagher, yeah? Or I'm gonna send you back to your mushroom to Brainy and Dopey."

Ian rolled his eyes again, "And you are Gargamel?"  
Mickey grinned and shrugged, just looking down at Ian, who eventually had to smile too, being practically unable to even pretend to be mad at him.

"Is it so wrong that I want a little bit of romance?", Ian mumbled.  
Mickey looked at him and then started laughing.  
"Don't laugh!", Ian growled and pushed Mickey away from him.

"Alright, sorry, but damn, Gallagher, you are aware that I literally took you stargazing, right? How much more romance do you fucking need before you get lactose intolerance from all the cheesiness?"

Ian looked up at the sky and actually saw a star above them. He sighed.  
"You're right", he mumbled, "It's pretty romantic... with the picnic and all that."  
"See, is a little appreciation so hard?",

Ian smiled and pulled him back down to him, "Sorry", he whispered and kissed him.  
Mickey smiled and kissed him back.  
"It's alright, but you know you're not allowed to be grumpy on date night, it's a rule. Otherwise I'm allowed to send you to your siblings for the night where you have to sulk in shame."

Ian nodded, "I know. I'm sorry", he kissed him again.  
"You're forgiven", Mickey mumbled and crawled on top of him to make out with him.

Ian let his hands wander down Mickey's back and then pushed his shirt up. Mickey pulled back from the kiss to take the shirt off, "So you're gonna fuck me under the stars now, Gallagher?"  
Ian nodded while grinning up at him and letting his hands run down Ian's body, "How is that for romance?"

Ian chuckled and kissed him again.  
Suddenly, they both heard a weird noise and then something wet hit them, they pulled away from each other -shit, the sprinklers went off.

Mickey remembered how, when they fucked here for the first time, the sprinkles went off too when they just finished.

They started laughing while quickly taking their stuff and running across the field to the dug outs.

There, Mickey looked at Ian, who shook his head, causing water drops to fly everywhere, "Fucking Dog", Mickey laughed, it reminded him on the last time they've been here, shortly after Ian's bipolar diagnose.

Ian grinned at him and kissed him again, while pushing him against the fence like back then.

The ginger pulled back and looked him in the eyes.

"I love you", Ian said sincerely, and he hoped he would hear it back this time.  
He just wanted to hear it back from him.

Mickey smiled up at him with that kind of smile he always got in response to those words and he kissed him again, without words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian was in a bad mood.  
He couldn't understand why Mickey just wouldn't say it!

Mickey had packed him his lunch from the leftovers of the picnic today, including a small note saying "be careful, lifesaver"

He was at his workplace, his shift just ended. He didn't have the evening shift today, so he planned to spend the afternoon with Mandy before coming home to Mickey earlier than usual and getting to eat dinner with him again - finally.

He had thought a lot about Mickeys issues regarding saying those words.  
At some point, Ian had to make a cut, right? For how long was he supposed to just accept not getting any sign that Mickey actually loved him?

Sometimes he couldn't believe himself that Mickey would actually love him. Why would he? Ian was mentally ill and his family annoyed Mickey all the time.

Sometimes Ian was afraid, Mickey just stayed with him out of pity or comfortability, so he didn't have to look for someone new.

At the same time, it angered Ian. He said it all the time - why couldn't Mickey?

He was tired of it... maybe he should look for someone else at some point... someone who would tell him that he loved him.

Those thoughts were in his head for a while. But he always just banned them out of his head, he loved Mickey after all, and he didn't want someone else.... but if Mickey continued to fail telling him that he loved him too, Ian would have to move on.

He was so deep in thought that he almost didn't notice a colleague walking up to him, Dylan.

"Finally, off the evening shit, huh?", Dylan asked him.  
"Yeah, I mean, sleeping in is cool, but I prefer being home at a reasonable hour."

Dylan nodded, "And this way we have the evenings off and can go out with people, right?", he smirked.

Ian looked at him, Dylan was flirting with him, again. He did that quite often, but now he just happened to flirt with him when he thought about seeing other people... it seemed like a sort of sign, didn't it?

Ian turned to him, so they were fully facing each other.  
"Right. It's been ages since I've been to a good bar with good company."

Dylan took a step closer, "I can be great company, would be worth your while."  
"Oh yeah?"  
"Yes. You're with that boyfriend of yours for how many years? I bet you're hungry for something new by now"

Was he though? Did he really want someone new instead of Mickey who had been with for the last years, who stuck with him through so much?

Dylan leaned further in, so his lips were by Ian's ear, "Call me when you've got time for me", he whispered and let a piece of paper slip into Ian's hand and then led Ian's hand around his body to his ass.

Ian was smirking while touching him, he leaned his head back, squeezed him lightly through his pants and winked at him, then he let go of him and Dylan left.

Ian checked out his ass while watching him walk away.  
He smirked and looked at the phone number... he shook his head but then placed it in his pocket though.

Just a short while later Mandy arrived next to him. And they left the station.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian came home a few hours later.  
It had been a dark, cold day, there were no lights switched on in the house and barely any sunlight got in.

"Mickey, are you home?", he yelled through the house. Mandy didn't want to come with him, she wanted to meet someone else and stay there for the night, so Ian was looking forward to spending the evening alone with Mickey.

He had thrown Dylan's number away earlier while he was out with Mandy and she had said to him -weirdly out of context - "My brother loves you more than anything you know that right?" - and no matter if he said it or not, if it was true or not, Mickey didn't deserve Ian accepting someone else's phone number and flirting with other guys.

Ian frowned when he didn't get an answer, instead his phone made a noise suddenly.

Ian took his phone out, maybe Mickey went out to get something from the store and texted him - but no.

It was a WhatsApp message from Mickey, but it was a photo... and another one... and another one.

A bunch of photos coming in one by one -of Ian and Dylan. Of their little flirt earlier. Dylan whispering in his ear, Ian's hand on Dylan's ass, him checking him out and putting Dylan's number into his pocket.

The only explanation was that Mandy got there before coming up to Ian, made those photos and sent them to Mickey.

Shit.

This looked so wrong - he wondered if Mickey left him or waited in some corner to beat him up now.

He smelled food though, so he went into the kitchen, he switched on the lights and there he sat.

Mickey and a bottle of whiskey waited for him at the kitchen table.  
Ian swallowed hard upon the look Mickey gave him - anger, hate, disappointment... pain.

Ian noticed that the kitchen was a mess. Food and a pot were scattered over the whole floor. A pattern of destruction Mickey had left when he had received the photos.

"You've got exactly one chance to explain this.", Mickey said calmly.

Mickey was angry but spoke calmly - Ian knew that meant he was basically fucked. Mickey's anger was on such a level that the wrong word could turn him into a raging hurricane.

"I'm sorry", Ian started, "I swear, it's not really what it looks like I - I threw his number away, you can check my pockets."

"That's the best you can do? You flirted with a guy, touched his ass and accepted his phone number and your apology is, that you threw it away later?", the anger slowly found its way back into Mickey's voice.

"He put my hand there."  
"You squeezed him. In public. That's just disgusting."  
"Disgusting is a little over the top, it's not like I fucked him in the station."  
"Disgusting towards me, Ian, your boyfriend."  
Ian bit his tongue.

"I'm sorry", he said again, "Really, it was just a little flirt, I don't even plan to actually do something with him"  
"Am I supposed to feel better now because you just flirted and talked about cheating on me and probably won't actually do it?"

Ian looked at him and made a terrible decision, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and said "Well, if you would maybe tell me that you love me once in a while, I wouldn't have flirted with him!"

He knew it was a mistake the second it had left his lips.  
Mickey raised his eyebrows, "Excuse me?"  
Well, there was no way out of it anymore now, right?

"You never say I love you. So maybe I'll look for someone who will."

The next thing Ian knew, was the whiskey bottle flying towards him, Ian quickly dodged it and heard it shattering somewhere in the living room.

"Because I never say that?", Mickey yelled at him, "do you have any idea about all the shit that I'm doing for you?", he got up threw the table over so it landed in what had been supposed to be their dinner.

"With your fucking moods, meds and shrinks? Your siblings that I put up with! I keep this house clean and make you dinner, I massage your fucking feet when you come from work and you wanna fuck someone else because I don't say it?"

Ian couldn't remember Mickey ever screaming at him like this, he stepped back from him while Mickey came closer.

"You are the one who puts so much meaning and shit on the words and then wonder when I have issues with it? If I would fuck a guy for every issue you have, I would have to fuck Chicago's whole fucking population!"

Mickey was very close to him now, he had pushed Ian up against a wall, the Gallagher looked down at him shocked and in slight fear.

He had never seen him this furious.  
He had seen him very fucking angry, especially at his dad, but never like this.  
And Mickey usually never spoke like this about his issues or anything related to the disorder either.

Mickey's fist was in the air, ready to punch Ian, his breath went quick, his arm shook slightly, his eyes were full of hate and anger.

But then he slowly let his fist sink and stepped back from him. Ian looked at him confused.

"Fine", he said, "Then you're getting from me the amount of love I'm getting from you."  
With those words Mickey left him standing in the kitchen and went to their bedroom.

Ian looked after him confused... that was supposed to be his punishment? Getting the amount of love from Mickey that he gave to him?

The Gallagher sighed and looked around the kitchen. Whatever Mickey had started to cook was scattered over the kitchen floor and the cabinets, the table lay on the wrong side in the middle of the mess. He could smell the whiskey from the shattered bottle in the living room.

After he cleaned up half-heartedly, he slowly went to bed too. He would have guessed Mickey would throw him out of their room and make him sleep on the couch - but he didn't.

When he came to bed, Mickey already lay in his usual position. Ian tried to get into his usual sleeping position, spooning Mickey tightly, their hands on top of each other. But as soon as their bodies had contact, Mickey pushed him away.  
Ian tried it again and this time earned an elbow landing in his stomach.  
"Stay away", Mickey just growled. So, Ian scooted away and had to sleep next to him but without touching him.

And somehow this was worse than being banned to the couch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian woke up slowly the next morning. He felt weird, like something was missing. He knew this would be a bad day.

He blindly grabbed for the coffee on the nightstand like every morning - but there was no coffee.

Ian looked from his nightstand to Mickeys - no coffee. Okay, he didn't need to rely on his boyfriend to make him coffee, he could use the coffee machine on his own.

The Gallagher forced himself out if bed and went to the kitchen - it looked like he had left it the night before of course, and he really missed a lot of spots. He sighed and made himself coffee.

He opened the fridge to get some breakfast when he noticed the next thing missing - lunch. Every day since Ian started working as EMT, no matter which shift he had, Mickey had prepared his lunch.

Even when they were fighting badly, when Mickey was mad at him like hell - there was always prepared food for him to take to work. Even that one time, Mickey was really angry and just put bread and ham into the box with a note saying "make your own sandwich"

But just not preparing anything for him? This was weird.

Ian cleaned the kitchen until he had to go to work. He didn't get a text message from Mickey all day. He also didn't dare to message him first.

Luckily, Dylan had the morning shift the next couple of days while Ian was back on the evening shift, so he didn't have to actively avoid him.

Ian came home after an exhausting day, he just wanted to see Mickey, hug him and be taken care of, like Mickey usually did it.

But when he came home, he found the next missing thing - no Mickey on the couch.

Mickey waiting for him to come home when he had evening shift was as sure as getting a packed lunch every day.  
But he wasn't there, he wasn't in the kitchen either.

Ian also didn't find his usual plate in the fridge, prepared by Mickey, just the right amount of food already on the plate so Ian just had to heat it up.  
Mickey had cooked dinner like usual, sure, but there was no made plate. Ian had to get all the food components out of the fridge and make his dinner himself- sure, that wasn't a big deal. Every person had to get their leftovers on their plates by themselves - but this wasn't the behaviour Ian knew from Mickey. Why would Mickey just stop doing all those little things Ian loved him for?

When Ian eventually crawled into bed to Mickey, he saw that Mickey had put out a second blanket on the bed. So, they wouldn't sleep underneath the same blanket.

Mickey could have also build a wall out of pillows when he was already on it.  
Ian tucked himself in under his blanket with no one to cuddle and hold.

This was awful.  
He felt so lonely and left... he couldn't believe that his and Mickeys working schedule usually worked like this too, how did they ever managed to see each other and talk when Ian was on evening shift? - Mickey always stayed up for him, that's how.

_"Then you're getting from me the amount of love I'm getting from you."_

So that was it? Getting the same amount of love Ian gave was no coffee in the morning, no lunch for work, no waiting for him on the couch, no made plate for dinner, no cuddling at night.

Ian did feel very much unloved today with all those little things missing.

Ian had the next two days off, maybe be would get Mickey to talk to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, it was the second day Ian woke up and didn't find his mug of coffee next to him.

Mickey was at work and would come back in the afternoon.

Ian usually spent these kinds of days alone in front of the TV or with his siblings or Mandy when she was home.

But today he was just restless - not in the manic kind of way. He was worried about him and Mickey. Not getting all the small gestures and gifts, he felt so lonely and unloved... not the "boohoo Mickey won't say he's in love with me" kind of unloved, but really unloved.

This is what it feels like to be treated the way Ian treated Mickey? This was what Mickey felt like?

It was awful.

But it was true. He never brought Mickey coffee in the morning, made him lunch or any of those small things.

When Mickey finally came back home, Ian was currently rolled up like a pathetic little embryo on their bed. When he heard the front door, he lifted his head and quickly went to his boyfriend, like a dog who waited for his owner to come home all day.

"Hey, Mick", Ian smiled, he hoped Mickey would be finished with his punishment soon, "How was your day?"

Mickey took of his shoes and looked up at Ian, he shrugged, "Like every other?"  
"Did you chase a thief today? That always puts you into a good mood"

Mickey raised one of his eyebrows now, he obviously wasn't in a good mood.  
"Apparently not", Ian mumbled and bit his lip, "What's for dinner?"  
"Dude, I didn't even get past the front door, could you drop the puppy act for a moment and let me through?"

Ian stepped out of Mickeys way, so he could sit on the couch.  
Ian came to him and looked at him, waiting for Mickey to allow him to talk again.

"What?"  
"What's for dinner?"  
"I dunno", Mickey shrugged, "Are you cooking something?"  
"Uh... no"  
"Did you go grocery shopping?"  
"No... you didn't tell me to"  
"Sorry, do you live here too? Do I have to tell you every chore that comes up around here? Sometimes the trash has to be taken out and sometimes groceries have to be bought - should I write that down for you?"

They sat in silence for a minute, Mickey leaned his head back with his feet on the couch table, closed his eyes and exhaled deeply.

"So...", Ian spoke again, and Mickey opened his eyes, clearly annoyed, "You're not cooking?"

"I came home three seconds ago after working for 8 hours and having my break ruined by some Karen bitch screaming at a pimple in the food court. No, I will not stand around in the kitchen for another hour now just so you can eat."

Ian looked down at the stained sofa, they were sitting in silence again.  
Ian decided to let Mickey alone for a while and went back to their bedroom.

Since Mickey didn't make any move towards making dinner tonight, Ian eventually ordered them some pizza, which they ate on the couch, with Mandy who showed up again, all of them sitting in awkward silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next day they were both off work. Usually these kinds of days were their favourites. When Ian had evening or night shift, they tended to not see each other when they were both working, and the off days were the only ones they could actually talk more than a few sentences with each other.

When Ian woke up this morning on the other hand, he was afraid how this day would unfold.

Usually they would kick this kind of days off with morning sex. Ian would already be cuddled up to him and just needed to wake him up with a few well-placed kisses.

Now he woke up and Mickey was so far away from him - like the last nights. He hated this.

Ian just lay next to his boyfriend and sadly watched him sleeping.

Mickey eventually woke up, looked back at him for a moment and then got up and left the bed.

Ian turned on his back and sighed deeply. He really had to apologise to Mickey, he didn't know for how long he was still able to take this.

Mickey came back into the bedroom to get dressed while drying his hair with a towel.  
"Mickey", Ian mumbled and rolled on his side to look at him.  
"Yeah?"  
Ian bit his bottom lip, "Uhm, any plans today?"  
"No, why?"  
"Because you're already up and running. Can't you stay in bed with me for a while? Just five minutes"

Mickey looked back down at him, pushing the thought around in his head, he wanted to lie back down with him and cuddle him and kiss him, sure, but he was still angry.

"You said, I'm getting the amount of love from you, you're getting from me, I will cuddle with you in the morning if you'd ask me to"

Now Mickey tensed up and stared down at him coldly.

He crawled on the bed and leaned down to Ian, who smiled at him hopefully.

"Would you if you're angry with me?", he said coldly, "But hey, I love you", he said emotionlessly, as if he would read the weather report, then he went down from the bed again and grabbed his sweatpants, "You're right, it's an easy thing to say - if you do nothing else to prove it", then he left the room.

I love you.

There it was. The words Ian had wanted to hear from Mickey for years. But not like this... not like this.

How could Mickey just do that? Say those words, which he wasn't able to say for years, now in the middle of a fight, so cold, without emotion in his voice.

Ian eventually forced himself out of bed too, he had to take his meds. He felt like staying in bed, rolled up in his blankets, hiding from the world and from Mickey.

He quietly went to the kitchen, peeped into the room, hoping Mickey either made breakfast for them or wasn't there. But Mickey sat there, eating his cornflakes. It was the first time in years that he didn't prepare Ian's medication when they had breakfast together.

Ian went to the shelf with his pills, took his meds out and poured himself a cup of coffee he used to wash them down with. He made himself a bowl of cereal too and sat down across from Mickey, where they ate in silence.

"I think I visit my siblings today.", Ian mumbled.  
"Alright."  
"Do you... want to come with me?"  
"What for? So, your sister can stare at me passive aggressively or your brother can throw his sarcastic comments my way to make himself feel smarter? No thanks."  
Ian nodded, "Okay... do you know when you will stop being angry with me? I apologised"  
"I'll let you know when it happens."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian was at his siblings' house. In the early afternoon Ian and Lip were sitting in the kitchen alone.  
"I don't know for how long I can take that, Lip."  
"So, did I get that right – he refused to say that he loves you, so you flirted with a co-worker and the punishment is, that Mickey shows you as much love as you show him?"  
"Yeah"  
"But... shouldn't that end in a better treatment towards you?"

Ian shrugged, "Apparently not. He's just cold and distant... I mean, I get that he is angry, because he does have photos which show me touching another guy's ass. But usually he still did things like taking out my pills or preparing lunch for me, no matter how angry he was with me, he still did that kind of stuff. And now – nothing."

"Well, you know what I'm always saying – dump him. You can always find someone better than Mickey Milkovich, Ian. Like that dude from work, he already wants you and you got a feel for his ass, what's his name?"  
"Dylan. But no. I love Mickey, okay? You don't really know him, he can be sweet and caring... if he isn't busy hating me and throwing things around."

Lip looked at him with raised eyebrows.  
"He throws stuff at you? Does he hit you, too?"  
"Of course not! He was probably angry enough to do it when I told him why I flirted with Dylan, but he didn't."  
"Boyfriend of the year", Lip scoffed.  
"Fuck off, you never bothered to get to know him, otherwise you would know that he only wants my best all the time."  
"Except now"

Ian looked down, true, except now. Now he wanted to punish him... or, maybe... he just wanted him to understand... this was the amount of love Mickey usually got from him, wasn't it? – No coffee, no lunch, no staying up, no preparing food, just an "I love you" when he felt like it.

"I have to go", Ian said and got up.  
"Ian, really, you deserve better than this treatment."  
"Fucking shit, just because Mandy fucked over the girl you cheated with, doesn't mean that Mickey is a bad boyfriend. Get it into your head, he's good for me, he's not abusive, and I want to be with him, not someone else."  
"If that would be true, would you have even considered it? Would you have flirted with the dude and taken his number?"

"It was a moment of weakness, but I threw the number away. Mickey's the one I want. And now, I will show him that I love him and beg him to forgive me by buying him all the Jell-O I can get and grovel until he lets me kiss him again.", he said and left the house without listening to another word from his brother.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian came back home with Mickey's favourite sweets – which was Jell-O in every form and colour, as long as it was nice and wobbly.

He rounded the corner to the Milkovich house -but there he saw Mickey and another man talking, they were standing by the fence.  
What was that supposed to mean? Was this Mickey's finale strike against him? The ultimate punishment – flirting with another dude the way Ian had done it?

This went too far. Mickey couldn't do this!

Ian angrily walked up to the two of them.  
"Hey, you! Fuck off!", he started yelling at the guy Mickey was talking to, "Get the fuck away from him, that's my boyfriend!"  
Mickey turned around to him surprised, "What? Ian, what the fuck are you doing?"  
"What the fuck are you doing? This is going too far! You, get lost!"  
"Ian, calm your fucking ass!", Mickey grabbed his arm and pushed him towards the stairs upstairs, "Get inside! Go!"

Ian let himself be forced into the house. He angrily put the groceries down in the kitchen and waited for Mickey to come back.

Mickey eventually came back into the house, throwing the front door shut behind him.  
"Could you explain to me what the fuck that was?", Mickey started yelling before even reaching the kitchen.

"Could you?", Ian yelled back, "You can't do that, Mick! I get that you're mad and, and hurt okay? I get that you want to punish me - but this is going too far! You can't just flirt with other men in front of me just to prove a point! You can't do that!"

"Flir- What? I didn't flirt with him, you dumbass! He's Sandy's PO, she missed a meeting and I was trying to be nice to not tick him off and has Sandy sent back to Prison!"

Ian stared at him, "Oh", he whispered, the anger suddenly leaving his voice, he let himself fall on one of the kitchen chairs, his body didn't know what to do with all of these emotions now, so instead of the anger, tears were forming in his eyes, "You have to stop with this Mickey", he looked up at him, he was practically begging him, "You have to stop acting like me, I can't take this anymore, okay? You won! I get it, I'm a horrible boyfriend and I'm lucky to have you", he sobbed, and the tears started running out of his eyes.

Mickey sighed and leaned against the counter with crossed arms, "Ian, please don't make this another 'we forget everything because Ian cries' thing, okay?"

Ian blinked a few times and looked at him, "Oh God, that's what I'm usually doing, isn't it? I'm crying and you're nice to me again", he realised, which only caused more tears to come flowing down his face.  
"Because I don't want to see you cry."

Ian nodded, "Because you're a great boyfriend and because you love me. So, you don't say it, so what? You show it every day and I'm just - I'm just taking everything you do for granted while I do nothing to show that I love you. I'm a horrible boyfriend, I - I must be a drag to be with, if these last days is what you always feel like, I don't get why you're here at all."

Mickey now rushed over to him until he stood in front of Ian's chair and he hugged him. Ian was still sitting and wrapped his arms around Mickeys body, hiding his face in his shirt.

"It's okay, Ian, listen, you're neither a horrible boyfriend nor is it a drag to be with you, okay? You can believe me that."

"But... but how? How can this, all of me and my fucking life, be what you want to be with?"  
Mickey shrugged, "Ian look at me... come on look at me", Ian eventually looked up at him with a red face, "Your siblings hate me and are a nightmare, I got beat up by my dad for wanting to be with you and you have a mental disorder which could lead to you either slitting your wrists or stealing a car every moment. Trust me, I wouldn't be here, if I wouldn't be damn fucking sure that you're who I want, okay?"

Ian nodded, and then pressed his face against Mickeys body again to be comforted a bit more.

"I just wanted you to understand, that I'm doing my best to show you all of my fucking feelings every day"  
"I understand now, I'm blind for not realising it earlier. You don't have to say it if you don't want to yet, doesn't matter.", he looked up at him, "I - I promise I will show you that I love you more, from now on. See, I, I went to the store and bought you your favourite Jell-O."

Ian smiled down at him and used the sleeves of his jacket to wipe Ian's tears away.  
"Mickey... don't ever say it like that again, okay? Ever"  
Mickey nodded, "I know that went too far, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said it like that. But Ian, just because I don't say it, doesn't mean I don't feel like that though, okay?"

Ian nodded, "I know... But why... why is that such an issue? I don't get it"  
Mickey sighed, "You remember the first time you said it and I didn't reply? See, you grew up in a house with love, I didn't. Never got any, never gave any, honestly, was never taught that it's a good thing. When you said it I was super happy to hear it, but I missed the moment to say it back, somehow, I just didn't, couldn't, I don't have a clue what went wrong - but you looked disappointed. And every time you said it and I didn't, it put so much pressure on the words... until they weren't just words anymore - you put so much meaning and pressure on it, that it felt like I was expected to make a whole love declaration in front of the world in form of wedding vows while being judged if it was good enough....", he sighed, "Getting married and saying actual vows in front of your hateful family would have been easier than saying it at this point."

Ian looked up at him again, "I'm sorry I didn't want to put you under so much stress. I didn’t mean to-"  
"I know. Ian, it's not your fault. It's me and my issues and stupid things dad did I didn't get over yet. But I need you to understand, that I'm always doing my best for you. Only for you. Don't think for a second, that there ever would be another person I would do all of this shit for. They would have to take me as I came from the beatings, I wouldn't try to be better for them. But you deserve that."

Ian smiled at him, "How do I deserve that?", he asked, barely being able to believe Mickey talking this freely about his issues and feelings.  
Mickey shrugged, "You just do. Just, you being you. Tall ass freckled bipolar motherfucker", he kissed his forehead, "You're the best person I know"

Ian leaned his head up and pulled Mickey down to kiss him on the lips.  
"Okay, now let me eat that Jell-O you talked about", Mickey whispered when Ian pulled away from the kiss again.  
"No, just a little longer", Ian said and pulled him closer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few months later

Ian really stepped up his game as boyfriend. Mickey never had a problem with how Ian treated him, in his eyes, Ian was a great boyfriend no matter what - well, except when he tried justifying flirting with other dudes.

But since their fight, Ian not only actively appreciated Mickeys efforts and all the little gestures, he did similar things for Mickey. When Ian was first to leave the house, he would make Mickey his coffee. If they both were home in the evening, Ian didn't help making dinner (because Mickey forbid him to cook anything else than pancakes in there) but he went grocery shopping before, to get everything Mickey needed, and did the dishes afterwards alone, so Mickey could relax.

When Ian was off and Mickey came home, obviously annoyed and exhausted, Ian made him sit down, relax and even massaged his feet, even though Mickey told him not to, -he did it anyways, because he always got this exact same treatment when he came home exhausted.  
And no "But your job is harder than mine, I don't need this" could stop Ian from showering his boyfriend with affection.  
Even though Mickey tried to kick him sometimes jokingly.

Then there were the date nights. Mickey always planned them because he never felt like having the generic dinner date - but that didn't mean Ian couldn't take him on a date too while making sure Mickey was comfortable.  
Since it was winter now, a stargazing picnic date wasn't possible. They had to stay home, but Ian still made an effort for Mickey.

Ian didn't dare to cook something, so he told Mickey what to cook for their evening and forbid Mickey to go to the living room. He had sent Mandy, and everyone who happened to be at the house now, away for the night.

Ian had pushed a few of the furniture away and spread blankets on top of the furniture to build a kind of tent.

When he was finished with his little building project, he went back to Mickey in the kitchen.

"You finished?"  
"Uh yeah, I think so. So, what's all this about? And why do I have to cook dinner if you're taking me on a date?"  
"Well, if I would cook, we'd have a date at the ER, not really what I had in mind."

Mickey grinned at him and followed Ian back to the living room, after he took the two plates.

"You built a fort? Are you 5?"  
Ian just rolled his eyes, "Put your phone on the dinner table and come in, Mick"

Mickey looked at him confused but put his phone on the table before crawling into the small space. Ian had put another blanket on the floor, little electronic candles lit up the space and he had printed out a picture of a night sky with lots of visible stars, which he had taped on the blankets above them.

Mickey chuckled when he saw all of it.  
"That's how I like my winter dates"  
"You like it?"  
Mickey nodded, "It's great, Gallagher", he leaned over to kiss him.

After they ate, they lay down and looked at the star picture, which Mickey was still amused about.

Mickey lay on his back and Ian had his head rested on his chest, Mickey ran his hand through Ian's hair.  
Mickey smiled when he looked at the picture again.

"I love you", he said suddenly, like it was the easiest thing in the world.

Ian turned his head and looked up at him with wide eyes.  
"I love you, too", he whispered.  
"I know", Mickey smirked.

Ian scoffed, but then smiled and crawled up to him to kiss him.

"Say it again", Ian mumbled between kisses.  
"You're a greedy bastard", Mickey chuckled, "But I love you"  
Ian grinned at him.

"Good, then we can get married now"  
Mickey looked up at him stunned, "What?"  
"You said, saying wedding vows would be easier than saying I love you. You said it, so now we can get married."  
"With your family still hating me?"  
"Oh, fuck 'em! None of their fucking business."

Mickey grinned at him, "Okay, then let's get married."  
"Are you free tomorrow?"  
"You want to get married tomorrow?"  
"Why not? Do you want a big wedding with all our friends and families?"  
"The friends and families that would actually come would be my sister, my cousin and the brothers who aren't too drunk."  
"Hey, I'm sure Liam would come too."  
"Okay then, tomorrow with three of them"  
Ian grinned and kissed him again.


End file.
